NOTE: This short fanfic (if we can call it that) came about as result of an email discussion with SkyKnight (Bert Van Vliet) about BIOS flashes for motherboards, and then we thought about flashing the BIOS on a hardsuit and well, this was my reply...
Priss (donning her hardsuit)(holds her helmet up and looks into it): Um, Sylia what the hell is this?
Sylia: Oh that? That's your new HUD startup screen.
Priss (looks a little annoyed): My what?
Sylia (points at a spot on the inside of Priss's visor): See there? That's how much ram your suit has.
Priss (looks at Linna who just shrugs): Ram? What the hell is ram? Is that a new weapon? Sounds cool. How do I turn it on?
Sylia: It's not a weapon. It's random access memory. It's telling you how much memory your suit has.
Priss: My suit has a memory? Hmm. Hey suit... what did I eat last night? (taps the helmet a few times but nothing happens) Shit. It's broken Sylia.
(Nene giggles)
Sylia: Not that kind of memory Priss. If you keep watching it will also tell you what size your hard drive is, what addresses your com ports are at...
Priss (glares at Nene for a moment): But what does the ram do? Will it hit me or something?
Sylia: No! Good grief. It's memory for your hard suit's computer.
Priss: The suit has a computer? (starts looking at the suit suspiciously, then looks over at Nene)
Nene: Hey! What's that look for?
Priss (looks back at Sylia): Sylia, I don't like this.
Sylia: What? Why not?
Priss: Because little miss Cyberspace is gonna hack me.
Nene: I will not!
Priss: Yes you will. I bet you already have.
Nene: Sylia!
Sylia: No one is hacking anyone all right? Settle down.
Priss: See? Look right here... (points to screen inside helmet) It says "Illegal Operation". I knew it. Nene hacked me.
Nene: I DID NOT!
Priss: You just did. It says so on the screen.
Sylia: Priss...
Linna: Mine's doing the same thing Sylia. Make Nene stop.
Nene: I didn't hack your suits! Those are error messages!
Priss: Why am I getting an error message when I am just putting the suit on then, hmm? Oh look, now it says, Fatal Exception. Getting tough now are ya? Oh now look! Explorer.exe error! Geez Nene, you shoulda named your hacking program something else! Even I'm smarter than that.
Nene: I'm not doing that! You probably need to format and reinstall your software!
Priss: (looks at her softsuit) I need to what?
Sylia: Priss...
Nene: Not your soft SUIT, your soft WARE!
Priss: I heard ya the first time. Quit yelling. Sylia I need another softsuit. Nene hacked me.
Nene: >_< GAH!
Sylia: PRISS...
Priss: Wha? Are ya gonna help me? I've been hacked here for chris'sakes!
Nene: YOU WEREN'T HACKED YOU MORON!...... O_O
[moment of tense silence]
Priss: What did you call me?
Sylia: Dammit...
Nene: I... I... didn't mean to... I...
Linna: Nene... you are so dead.
Priss: Oh yeah, there's gonna be a fatal exception alright!!!
[insert much brawling and yelling]
Sylia (sighs): I hate hardsuit upgrades.
END
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