Two vultures boarded an airplane, each one carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looked at them and said, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion per passenger is allowed."
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
Two boll weevils grew up in Mississippi. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
Snakes are one of the most nervous animals around; they're always afraid of making an asp of themselves.
I hear skunks are very religious creatures; they each have their own pew.
There's a small tavern in downtown Illinois that won't sell alcohol to the local coal mine workers. They're afraid of being charged with selling liquor to minors.
Cows are very forgiving farm animals. Their reasoning is that to err is human, but to forgive is bovine. (Of course, nothing could be fodder from the truth.)
The state of Missouri has vigourously been trying to get other states bordering the Mississippi river to help in an urgently-needed flood control project. The explanation being given for this action is that Missouri loves company.
Farming is a really risky business; there's always the possibility that you'll get a bum steer, and if that happens, your reputation may be at steak. And that's no bull.
Of course, Dairy farming isn't much safer. There's always the risk that a lot of expenses will be in-curd. (Yes, I realize that one was udderly awful.)
The following statement was made once during a heated bargaining session between union and management representatives: "We upped our offer!! Up yours!!"
Pet shops that sell aquariums and accessories keep track of their stock on a micro-fiche system.
Dentists can be influential if they get into politics. You might say they have a lot of pull.
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocaine during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
A woman had twins, and had to give them up for adoption. One of them went to a family in Egypt, and was named "Amal." The other went to a family in Spain; they named him "Juan." Years later, Juan sent a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she told her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband's response was "Why? They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.
The period of history known as the Dark Ages was called that because there were a lot of knights.
Sir Lancelot had a lot of trouble riding his horse. It was a real nightmare, I hear.
The funeral business is the only one in the world where a hole-in-one is par for the corpse.
My parents don't understand much about computers and the Internet. I had to explain to them that a Website was not the upstairs attic.
And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
[Select this link to return to the Scriptorium...]
[Select this link to return to the main KnightWorks page...]
|SkyKnight, The KnightWorks, and The Bubblegum Zone are ©1995-2002 Bert Van Vliet. Please feel free to email all comments or contributions to Bert Van Vliet. Page last updated on January 7th, 2002|